Eileen Goudge

Birthday Boy

If coming up with a gift suggestions for yourself is hard, trying figuring out what to get for the guy who has everything. Today is my husband Sandy’s birthday and I am breathing a sigh of relief to have made it through another year without system failure. Actually, I’m giving him the best kind of gift – one that’s as much a present to me as to him: A GPS device.

Living in NYC, we don’t have a car – no real need – so on the infrequent occasions when we need one, we rent a Zipcar. Unfortunately, they don’t all come with GPS, so that job usually falls to me, as passenger/navigator. Now, I am good at many things – and I would defy anyone to match the tart that’s in the oven as I write this – but navigating is not one of them. In fact, there’s a reason the towns in my novels are mostly fictional: If I tried to recreate a real one, hordes of readers would descend on me, demanding to know if I can read a MAP and didn’t I know the street I had my character driving south on goes only one way and it’s not south (one way to kill off a character real quick). I am hopeless at giving and receiving directions, even when clearly printed out from MapQuest. I am—if there is such a thing—directionally dyslexic. If I enter an airport bathroom, I will almost invariably turn the wrong way as I exit. One of those days I’m just going to keep going and get on the wrong plane and end up in Cincinnati instead of where I was planning to go. Sigh. Well, I guess we can’t be good at everything, much as we might try.

Back to the GPS…when in doubt about getting something for the man in your, think gadget. Guys love gadgets, the more functions it has the merrier. Me? I am befuddled by anything with more than an “on” and “off” button. It took me 20 minutes to figure out how to use the mandoline I bought for my kitchen. The operation of the TV remote I have long since ceded to my husband.

I look forward to our next road trip, when I can sit back and let the “nice lady” who is the voice of GPS do the navigating for me. I don’t know if she can bake, but she comes in awfully handy when you need guidance.

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